This post is a homage to all those hapless souls who have spent/are spending the last day of 2014 holed up in their depots, chasing their monthly targets...
Ever since I started doing sales the phrase 'Mahine ke wo din' has taken on a totally different connotation. Though the experience of month closing comes pretty close to that of the mahine ke infamous dins, what with the excruciating pain of chasing unattainable targets, mood swings ranging from sudden bursts of love for the team members who don't betray you at this crucial juncture to wanting to hurl a few soap cartons on the entities who simply switch off their phones to escape the ASM's wrath, back pain from sitting on the uncomfortable depot chairs, food cravings from burning all those calories from walking around cartons in the depot admonishing/cajoling team members to stretch a bit more (I have taken the old idea advertisement 'walk and talk' to heart) and mild to massive headaches based on how tense you are and how many times the boss has chided you for not doing your numbers!
Come to think of it performance pressure behind closed doors would hardly intimidate an ASM so used are we to performing and then having that performance ,or the lack thereof, evaluated by our bosses in full public glare and that too rather critically!
The week preceding the D-day sees a flurry of activity. This is the time when the field officers resort to various measures to get maximum money for primaries from distributors. There tactics can range from grovelling to cajoling to outright threatening with dire consequences . The team deep dives into data and ties all lose ends which were hiterto left unattended. So you reach out to wholesellers and retailers with renewed fervour, seduce them with tempting 'last month of QPS' offers to tug at the heartstrings of these mercenaries, close the targets of your various stakeholder engagement programs. You call upon those distributors who will throw you the float(read more RTGS for primaries) that will keep you from drowning when the currents are rough. You tempt the salesmen to do more secondaries so they can earn higher incentives, and nag the field force on any parameter that you possibly can ,since you are their boss!
And then when the big day comes you travel to your depot which is almost always located in some remote corner of your city/town/hamlet to complete the last leg of this crazy game of month closing. Amidst rows and rows of neatly stacked cartons of soap and mosquito killers you establish the bastion from where the last leg of the war is waged while your team of warriors and foot soldiers battle it out on the ground.
The depot is a world in itself. In contrast to the torrid outside world of FMCG sales, the depot is a rather placid place where everything happens at its own sweet pace. The only occupants of these huge godowns spanning hundreds of square feet are unending rows of stacks of cartons (aka petis), and numerous men (for in sales testosterone trumps estrogen wherever you go!!); the depot guys, the brawny loaders who insure that every carton gets into it's rightful truck, the gruff truck drivers, and other support staff.
On the closing days the usual CFA din of trucks coming and going, of cartons being loaded and unloaded is drowned out by the ASMs and their unabated volley of incoming phone calls. "Kitna RTGS aya, primary kitna hua, 50 peti, 100 peti, 10 lakh aur chahiye, 5 lakh aur karao....." are the only things to be heard. Every conversation is about numbers. With every call the ASM quickly adds or subtracts numbers from their excel planning sheet and then looks at how best to make up for losses/adjust gains.
As the clock ticks and the morning changes to afternoon the adrenaline rush increases and so does the pace of chasing untraceable RTGS and errant field officers. This is also the time when it becomes pretty clear about how many FOs and distributors will renege on their commitment. So you start looking for other doors to knock on to prevent you from going under while at the same time lambasting the traitors. As the clock ticks further there begin the incessant calls from the boss and the office to take stock of things. In a bad month after every such phone call your blood pressure will rise a notch higher and your team will be at the receiving end till you hit the point where you realize that beyond this nothing can be done and you quietly hang up your boots and ruefully tell yourself 'tomorrow is another month!' and carry on!! But when all is going well you would be idling away time at the depot just waiting for the boss to call so you can tell him how you over-delivered and hope to hear him sing paeans while you bask in the warm glory of your achievement, for in FMCG sales such happy days are a rarity!
Late in the night you wrap up the billing,dead tired from all the shouting, planning, strategizing, ready to make the pilgrimage back home where based on how the day panned out you would either decide to crash, drink away your sorrows, quietly mope about being caught in this profession which makes your heart rate escalate at every phone call or feel like a complete sales stud for having delivered way beyond what you were asked and so would end another eventful closing.
